“Madame Butterfly’s Massage Parlor”

As seen at Knuckledraggin’.

True story: Slow day. The phone rang, and I answered it.

“Pizza Shack. Can I take your order?”

“Wha… ” Caller sputtering, hangs up. Phone rings again.

“Madame Butterfly’s Massage Parlor. How may we service you”

Immediate disconnect.

No big deal, right. But the funny part is that this was on deployment in theater for Desert Shield/Storm. The calls were on a crypto phone on a closed, dedicated military net, not the public switched telephone network. USCENTAF in Saudi Arabia was calling.

Anyway, the phone rang again, and I answered it properly. The guy on the other end started telling me about the weird wrong numbers he was getting.

Some folks are slow on the uptake. And yes, I have always been a smartass.


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2A advocate, writer, firearms policy & law analyst, general observer of pre-apocalyptic American life.

One thought on ““Madame Butterfly’s Massage Parlor””

  1. LOL. Reminds me of the fun I used to have back in the Navy in the 80’s. Naval Intelligence. Suitland MD – our mainframe computer room phone was one digit off from one of the local hair salons. Lady calls in in…”Good morning, Naval Intelligence Operations, Petty Officer Smartass speaking. This is a non-secure line. How may I help you?”
    Dead silence for 10 seconds.
    “Um – is this the hair salon?”
    “No ma’am, that number is xxx-xxxx.
    ” How…How do you know which hair salon I want?”
    “Ma’am, this is Naval Intelligence…we know EVERYTHING”
    I often wondered over the years what she told he husband when he got home….

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