Bear Bussjaeger

It just occurred to me that the Babylon Bee performs a public service, beyond the obvious stress-relieving humor. Take this headline for instance.

AOC Proposes Nationwide Ban On Straws After Learning Trump Won Straw Pol

It used to be that I’d see quotes attributed to Occasionally-firing-Cortex, and I’d have to look them up to see if they were real or parody.

It went about 50/50. Without research, AOC is indistinguishable from parody.

But now when I see this in the Bee, which I know to be satire, I’m fairly safe in assuming satire/parody, even if banning straws ‘cuz “straw polls” really does sound like something that idiot would come up with.

That saves a a little wasted web search time.

 

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Right.

Food Security Isn’t Being Tracked, According To Scientists. Here’s Why That’s A Huge Issue
Food prices are soaring globally, largely because there is no set system for tracking, planning and forecasting the food supply chain, according to food systems scientists.

That’s based on this article.

In recent years, global food security has had shocks from the COVID-19 pandemic, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, extreme weather events and more. My colleagues and I scramble to find convincing answers quickly when development outfits, aid organizations and government think tanks come calling. What would be the impact of COVID-19 mobility restrictions on harvests in sub-Saharan Africa? How would Germany’s move away from Russian gas affect global fertilizer production and use? How would heatwaves change the ability of the poorest people to afford food?

As we talked back in 2020, it was clear to both me and my colleague what we needed: next-generation food-systems models, hooked up to real-world data, that consistently capture patterns of food production, transport, processing and consumption, allowing stress-testing and real-time informed responses to systemic shocks.

Here’s a hint: Ask futures traders how they decide how much to invest in what.

And talk to Walmart about how they plan months in advance what foods to obtain from where, and how and where to ship them.

You might even ask the governor of Michigan why she thought it was a good idea to ban the sale of crop seeds (suggesting that central government planning and control might not be a good idea).

I think they’re only whining because it isn’t socialist “central government planning and control.” And they can ask survivors of the Soviet Union how well that worked for them.

 

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JUST SO YOU KNOW…
Preserving the Second Amendment is unconstitutional. At least in the Eastern District of Missouri.
[Read more]

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BREAKING: Mitch McConnell calls it a ‘mistake’ for Tucker Carlson to air J6 footage
“It was a mistake, in my view, for Fox News to depict this in a way that’s completely at variance with what our chief law enforcement official at the Capitol thinks,” McConnell said to reporters on Tuesday.

Let’s run that through the Universal Turtle Translator: t was a mistake, in my view, for Fox News to air actual footage proving that us Dims and RINOs lied; that’s completely at variance with what we told our chief law enforcement official at the Capitol to lie about.

 

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Is there a special made-up word for incel trannies?

‘Why Is No One In The DMs?’: Dylan Mulvaney Complains About Lack Of Dates After Pricey Surgeries
“I’m getting a little impatient because, especially when you’re feeling yourself and even looking at that Grammys picture, I’m like that’s somebody who should not be single,” Mulvaney told PEOPLE. “But then you’re like, wait, why is no one in the DMs?”

If you want a date, consider getting more surgery and a DNA test showing XX allosomes.

I wish this shit wouldn’t pop up in my newsfeeds.

 

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Atlanta police released names and booking photos of 23 of the 35 idiots arrested for the attack on the construction site for the new LE training center. Only 2 are even from Georgia; but France and Canada managed to be represented. They’ve all been with domestic terrorism.

But someone noticed an interesting bit about one arrestee.

Jurgens is a staff attorney for the SPLC’s economic justice project and obtained his law degree from the University of Georgia, his LinkedIn profile says.

SPLC needs to either disavow and fire their little — accused — terrorist, or add themselves to their Hatewatch page.

 

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A few days ago I wrote about Florida state sentor Jason Brodeur’s bill to require critics bloggers to register with the state. The moron is doubling down, and misrepresenting his bill.

Newt Gingrich slams Florida Republicans for blogger registration bill: ‘Insane’
“Paid bloggers are lobbyists who write instead of talk. They both are professional electioneers. If lobbyists have to register and report, why shouldn’t paid bloggers,” [state Sen. Jason Brodeur, a Republica] told Florida Politics.

He’s pretending his bill only requires paid bloggers to register. That is false.

“Blogger” means any person as defined in s. 1.01(3) that submits a blog post to a blog which is subsequently published.

“Blog” means a website or webpage that hosts any blogger and is frequently updated with opinion, commentary, or business content. The term does not include the website of a newspaper or other similar publication.

Do you see anything there about the blogger being paid? I don’t. In fact, it specifically excludes outlets that would be paying its writers.

This part could limit registration to “paid bloggers”:

(2) If a blogger posts to a blog about an elected state officer and receives, or will receive, compensation for that post, the blogger must register with the appropriate office, as identified in paragraph (1)(f), within 5 days after the first post by the blogger which mentions an elected state officer.

Except it doesn’t. I don’t get paid upfront for posts here. The best I can do is hope someone hits my tip jar after the fact. And after that burst of extraordinary generosity last year, helping with my medical bills, tips have come to a near screeching stop (I figure most folks correctly figured they’ve done their part by now, and the screwed economy probably doesn’t help). But under this bill, I’d still have to register within 5 days of calling Brodeur a moron… just in case someone compensates me eventually.

As for the claim that “paid bloggers” are “lobbyists”…

2 USC § 1602(8):

Lobbying contact (A) Definition The term “lobbying contact” means any oral or written communication (including an electronic communication) to a covered executive branch official or a covered legislative branch official that is made on behalf of a client…

Florida Statute 11.045:

(e) “Lobbying” means influencing or attempting to influence legislative action or nonaction through oral or written communication or an attempt to obtain the goodwill of a member or employee of the Legislature.

“Lobbyist” means a person who is employed and receives payment, or who contracts for economic consideration, for the purpose of lobbying, or a person who is principally employed for governmental affairs by another person or governmental entity to lobby on behalf of that other person or governmental entity.

Does Brodeur claim that my blog a form of direct communication with himself? Does he claim that this blog post is lobbying, but if — as I sometimes do — I send the exact same post as a letter to the editor of newspaper, it is magically not lobbying?

That I’m trying to obtain his “goodwill”?

Say… Did Brodeur register as a lobbyist when HE paid a blogger $37,000?

 

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Hmm.

How Does A Leftist Hero Become A Villain? Oppose the Regime.
Yahoo News reported Thursday that “Ohio law enforcement issued a report late last month warning that events planned in East Palestine by the environmental activist Erin Brockovich could prompt a terrorist threat from violent extremists.” This was not a purely local effort. The report of the Ohio Statewide Terrorism Analysis & Crime Center Terrorism Analysis Unit Situational Awareness (STACC TAU) was “distributed to law enforcement agencies by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).” And so it’s clear: when does a hero of the Left become a terrorist? When a Leftist regime is on the receiving end of its criticism.

The Left eating its own is just business as usual. I’m a little more interested in why they expect a terrorist reaction.

That’s not a usual American response to recent environmental disasters.

Now… if they know that something’s about to slip showing the East Palestine disaster and response to be a bit more than bog standard greed and incompetence…

 

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Seen here

Looking at that, I finally realized what look a lot of these freaks are shooting for.

 

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In that gator bite video I linked to a bit ago, that is.

I did know a guy who probably could’ve been talked into that if we’d had a gator handy.

M—- was actually a bright guy, but he could be talked into… unwise courses of action. One evening a bunch of us were at some friends house. These folks had cats. Princess Buttercup, a beautiful black cat; Monster a large tabby with the longest claws I’ve seen on a domestic cat; and Camber, who was the most maid back I’d ever met.

We’re sitting there talking. There were snacks, so there was an empty cheese puff can. J—- was particularly good at leading M—- into temptation.

“M—-, why don’t you see how much of Camber you get into that can?”

M—- fought it. But I watched. M—- would glance at the can, then at Camber, who was doing his usual sofa pillow imitation.

Finally M—- grabbed the can and the cat, and proceeded to stuff Camber into the can, tail first. Camber was having none of that shit and proved he was still sharp and pointy of five out of six corners. He got out of the can and wrapped himself around M—-‘s arm, inflicting as much damage as possible.

And there’s M—- waving his cat-encrusted arm in the air, screaming, “Get him off! Get him off!” as he tried to pry Camber loose.

Lest you think that was a one-off incident…

Another time J—- “suggested” that M—- clip a helium balloon attached to a clothespin to Monster’s (he of the giant cyber claws) tail.

Yep. Monster inflicted more damage as he headed out the cat door, balloon and all.

Not enough? I wasn’t present for this one, but M—- admitted it later. And for once alcohol was a factor. Drinking with some buddies, someone dared M—- to pierce his nipple, then and there.

Yep. That was back in my SCA days, and M—- and I both did the sword fighting thing. For a couple weeks, M—- was extremely… sensitive to chest hits.

If only we’d handy a gator when we needed it.

 

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