New TZP Column: Hogg Hunting

David Hogg must be missing the spotlight again. He open his twitter mouth and once more demonstrated his lack of two neurons to rub together.

Hogg Hunting
How much for a Hogglet tag?

If killing people has become legal — a bit of news I somehow missed — I’d pay a premium for a Hogg-hunting tag. Not that I’d use it; it would just be worth it for Hogg to simply know he was a lawful target of the people whose rights he wants to violate.

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I’m Starting To Subscribe To The Reptilian Theory

…of Mark Zuckerberg.

Mark Zuckerberg Says That When Employees Call Him the “Eye of Sauron,” It’s Actually a Compliment
During a recent interview with YouTuber Tim Ferriss, Zuckerberg revealed that he has a brand new nickname at the company.

“Some of the the folks who I work with at the company they say this lovingly, but I think that they sometimes refer to my attention as the Eye of Sauron.”

He claims his new moniker refers to his “unending amount of energy to go work on something.”

That is a creature with zero understanding of human culture. You’d think his superiors would have briefed him better than that.

Reptilian in a human suit looks more likely all the time.

An April Fool Joke That Worked

I fell for this, right up until I actually looked at the URL

St. Paul Announces Sweeping Transportation Policy Changes
In a surprise joint press conference, today, April 1, Mayor Allcity, flanked by Public Works Director Carskill, all seven city council members, Jim Stitchesray, and Ramsey County commissioners announced sweeping changes to city transportation policy. The attendees all arrived together leading a bike train of elementary school students along Wheelock Parkway to Como Park Elementary. Mayor Allcity announced that in light of our declared climate emergency, degrading city and resident finances, and public safety and health challenges brought about by car dependency, our streets and transportation systems will no longer prioritize private car drivers above all other transportation modes. Instead, people walking, biking, and rolling (hereafter simply referred to as “people”) will no longer be treated mostly as an afterthought by city planners and engineers and the safety and convenience of low-carbon, active transportation modes will be prioritized. This announcement is in keeping with multiple policies already enacted by the city and county (see here, or here), which public works has too often continued to either ignore or creatively interpret up to this point.

I was looking at the alleged new planning rules, and immediately thought, “No way they actually talked to real engineers about this shit.”

I particularly liked the elimination of “beg buttons” that force poor pedestrians to push a button and wait for the lights to change, to cross the road. I figured that would kill a lot of walkers. It would also waste a lot of gas, and drivers would be randomly stopping (or trying to stop), instead of maintain smooth flow through timed lights.

There was more, and the supposed efects would have been synergystic; multiple=ying the chance to get people killed, and merely gridlock the city.

I fell for this because 1) it’s gotten hard to sort the jokes from lefty pseudo-reality, and 2) just about every one of the supposed new rules is something — on an individual basis — I’ve seen advocated for real. But it’s definitely a mea culpa that I initially overlooked the “humor” tag below the photo.

Well done, Mr. Mensinger! Replacing the city road maintenance vehicles with elecric cargo bikes was a nice touch.