The Next Pan(ic)demic?

An odd report out of Pennsylvania.

REPORT: Truck in PA carrying 100 monkeys crashes, some missing
A truck transporting nearly 100 monkeys in Pennsylvania crashed into a dump truck on Friday, and at least three animals made an escape.

100 monkeys? In a single shipment? My first thought was lab animals. Then I saw this.

Crash update: A small number of monkeys may have fled the crash scene into the surrounding area. If the public spots one, please keep your distance and call 911 immediately. Health and safety of residents and visitors is our top priority.

— Troopers Andrea Pelachick & Lauren Lesher (@PSPTroopFPIO) January 22, 2022

“Keep your distance”? “Health”? But it only gets… more interesting.

At 9 p.m., Pelachick said state police are investigating the crash and securing the scene for representatives from the Pennsylvania Game Commission, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and other agencies.

All right. Vehicular crash – state police. Check.

Critters on the loose – game commission. Check.


I’m currently speculating that they are lab animals, and that they’ve been exposed to/infected with something unpleasant.

And while I’ve seen nothing to actually suggest such a link, I confess to wondering if this was another Fauxci-Funded Fuck-up.

Published by


2A advocate, writer, firearms policy & law analyst, general observer of pre-apocalyptic American life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.