Paddle Boarding; Is that What You Call it?

Yet another bizarre objection to Florida’s new parental rights law (the one obsessively mischaraterized as “Don’t Say Gay” by would-be child groomers). A gay kindergarten teacher worries that he’ll have to stop talking about his personal life with little children now.

Florida Teacher Worries He Can’t Discuss His Personal Love Life with Kindergarteners After Passage of Parental Rights Bill (VIDEO)
“It scares me that I am not going to be able to have these conversations with my children…I don’t want to have to hide that my partner and I went paddle boarding this weekend,” the teacher said.

The “objectional” portion of the bill reads:

Classroom instruction by school personnel or third parties on sexual orientation or gender identity may not occur in kindergarten through grade 3 or in a manner that is not age appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards.

As I used to understand the term “paddle boarding,” that has zip to do with sex or gender. Clearly he has something less conventional in mind. Apparently I had the wrong water sports in mind.

All that aside, I’m surprised that a — non-insane — teacher would want to be discussing personal life with small children like that. I recall an incident in third grade, when my teacher deciding she needed to share her wedding album (just got married) with a room full of eight year-olds. Most of the boys tried to ignore her, but my crack about her green-themed wedding party looking like Martians got me sent to the principla’s office.

On the upside, she kept her personal life out of the classroom after that.

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2A advocate, writer, firearms policy & law analyst, general observer of pre-apocalyptic American life.

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