Just saw a birthday reminder on Gunbloggers. Not mine, but damn.

Yeah, another year closer to dying.*


* Or not. I’ve screwed with some cemetery plot salescritters.

Many years ago, I got a telemarketer call pitching plots. I let her ramble, then said, “I won’t be needing a grave.”

Quotes approximate; it’s been awhile.

Oh, you already have a plot?

No. Just don’t need one.


I’m not going to die. I’m immortal.

-silence- then, I realize it may not be something to you want to dwell on, but passing is God’s plan for all of us.

Not for me. I’m immortal.

-another pause- But you can’t DO that!

It’s working so far.


I pulled that again a few years later. My grandmother wanted to see her plot and had me drive her to the cemetery. The salesweasel tried selling me a plot of my own. Gave him the immortality routine. I’d swear his expression shifted from joking to crazy to Shit, is he? But he shut up.

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2A advocate, writer, firearms policy & law analyst, general observer of pre-apocalyptic American life.

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