It’s New Orleans; of course they didn’t work.

I don’t make a habit of reading CNN, but for once I’m glad I spotted this.

WHen I heard this morning that the hydraulic bollard barriers, installed to prevent people driving down Bourbon Street, were even deployed, I told my sister, “I’ll bet they’re broken.

After all, this is the same city that didn’t bother to keep all their levee pumps working — to keep the below sea-level city from flodding — because the ones they had were able to keep up. Until Hurricane Katrina. Oopsy.

Well…

“The barriers were in the midst of being repaired and replaced, but in actuality, in this instance, the individual circumvented the barriers by going on the sidewalk and getting past the area where they had police vehicles, where the repair barriers were at,” Morrell said on “CNN News Central.”

I knew it. But again…

“So in this instance, even had the bollard barriers been up, the circumvention by riding on the sidewalk would have defeated them.”

So forget working or not. They installed them wrong. Either positioned wrong, or not enough off them. You could just drive around them.

It isn’t as if some bad guy intent on murdering as many people as he can would fail to respect the barriers, right?

Oh, Amazon

I was expecting an Amazon delivery today. Here’s a screenshot of the package tracker page, taken at 3:46PM ET.

What do you notice?

It actually started glitching around 2PM, when it updated the delivery estimate to 5:45-7:45, at the same time that it showed the vehicle “four stops away.”

Come on, baby, light my fire.*

Morrison Hotel Made Famous By The Doors Destroyed By Fire After Being Occupied By Squatters
The iconic Morrison Hotel made famous by The Doors, was destroyed by a fire in Los Angeles on Thursday morning.

The Morrison Hotel, featured on The Doors’ 1970 album “Morrison Hotel,” caught fire after being occupied by squatters.

The four-story hotel has been vacant for over a decade, but fans of The Doors have been known to take photos in front of the once-respected hotel.

*Here

Gee, I Wonder Why Not

Ah, the brilliant folks at Reuters:

An Israeli strike on a building in central Beirut on Sunday killed Hezbollah’s media relations chief Mohammad Afif, two Lebanese security sources told Reuters, though there was no immediate confirmation from Hezbollah.

I’m sure there must some reason for Hezbollah press releases being delayed.

Kneepads To “Virtually” Attend Al Smith Dinner

First, Harris was going to skip the Al Smith charity dinner, breaking a long tradition of presidential candidates attending. I saw various bits of speculation as to why including that it’s a Catholic event.

Now it seems she will attend. Sort of.

I suppose some staffer realized completely skipping it was a bad look.

Virtually. She sent a prerecorded video.

I have my own speculation on why she won’t be there. I recall what Trump did with his 2016 Al Smith speech. It was hilariously brutal.

For instance…

It’s great to be here with a thousand wonderful people, or, as I call it, a small intimate dinner with some friends. Or as Hillary calls it, her largest crowd of the season.

or

In fact, just before taking the dais, Hillary accidentally bumped into me and she very civilly said, “Pardon me.”

(LAUGHTER)

And I very politely replied, “Let me talk to you about that after I get into office.”

Kneepads didn’t want to hear what Trump would say about her.

Milton Sustained Winds Discrepancies

When I checked the 11:00 AM EDT hurricane updates, I noticed something odd.

NHC: 150 MPH

Weather Underground: 150 MPH (in header), 130 MPH (in graphic)

That 130 MPH number hit me first, because the graphic was what I’d gone there to see. So I decided to go to a couple more weather sites to see what speeds they show.

Zoom Earth: 67 MPH (the highest reading I could find)

Ventusky: I found a spot that was 70 MPH (at 10 meters above ground)

Ventusky lets you select differing altitudes for wind speed.

250 M AGL: 98

1600 feet AGL: 94

2500 feet AGL: 124

3300 feet: 122

At higher altitudes, the winds drop off again.

All those Ventusky and Zoom Earth wind speeds are a far cry from 150 MPH. In fact, it’s a difference between a Cat 4 storm and a Cat 2 or 3. Or Cat 1. Or even “tropical storm.”

Just for reference, the wind speed Ventusky and Zoom Earth show for my area seems to match what I seeing in person.

A few years back, when Matthew blew through, the NHC was reporting us getting hit by hurricane-force winds. But a local webcam (I’d bugged out for that one) showed spanish moss hanging from trees just barely swaying in a light breeze..

Turns Out There A Dirt Simple Way To Keep FEMA Out Of Your Shit

Since I’m unaware of any major disaster in which FEMA was more help than hindrance, it seems wise to force them to keep their distance.

“Road Closed” signs

“FEMA called me and told me they wanted to inspect my house, then called me back to say they couldn’t drive around the ‘road closed’ sign. They weren’t allowed,” she told The Post.

“You can drive it by car for sure, it’s not that bad, you just have to drive around the ‘road closed’ sign. I explained that to them. They said they couldn’t.”

Such signs are supposed to be a warning to people won;t don’t need to be tyhere; not an impermeable barrier against those whose effing job is to go there. Imagine if the sign worked against road repair crews.

Buy good for us who don’t want FEMA stealing our shit. You might even want to stock up on official-looking signs.

An imaginary industrious FEMA boob might be inclined to disregard a home-made sign.

Or not.